Our Own Kind of Perfect

Hagen's Birth

2010-05-04T12:56:00.000-07:00

I dated everything back in February when it actually happened. Take a look at the first part of our journey!

This Is It!

2010-02-23T15:59:00.000-08:00

I had no idea when I woke up (from what little sleep I got on that horrible night) on Tuesday, February 23, 2010 that today would be the day. Today would be the day my life changed forever. Today would be the day I would fall in love again. Today would be the day my heart filled with a love that is indescribable. I had no idea. This is it! Today, Hagen Ford Homyk, comes into the world. 6 weeks too early and a couple pounds too light, but today we meet him and experience love at first sight.

Blood pressure BAD! 24 hour urine screen BAD! Feeling BAD! I have moved from mild pre-eclampsia to full blown pre-eclampsia. My urine screen verified it this morning. Things are not getting any better. At about 7:30ish, a nurse comes into my room and tells me this is it. 15 or 20 minutes from now, Dr. Burkholder wants me in that operating room. WHAT!!! 15 or 20 minutes!!!! 34 weeks!!!! Nick slept at home last night!!!! My sister isn't here!!!! My baby shower is today!!!! WHAT?!?! I instruct mom to call Nick and tell him to hurry. She calls my sister too. Of course, we live in West Texas. You never know what the weather is going to be like. It had snowed most of the night; not that it phased me due to the magnesium sulfate. :) The team of nurses came in and began prepping me for surgery. It was all happening so fast.

Nick made it through the door with enough time to put on his scrubs. My sister came flying in, just in the nick of time too. This is some scary stuff. Not only am I going into emergency surgery, but there is another life that is counting on me. This life didn't ask to be brought into the world and definitely wasn't expecting to be taken out of his sleepy little nest inside me this soon. In the hallway, I meet my nurse Lisa. Her job is to take care of me. She is very sweet and assures me that everything will be ok. She will take me to recovery following my c-section and will monitor my progress. In the hallway, we see Dr. Burkholder for the first time. Remember he's been out of town all weekend. It is so good to see him. Not that I didn't like any of the other doctors, it's just that he's MY doctor. He took my hand and reminded me that this wasn't an ideal situation, but we had made it to 34 weeks. The statistics were in our favor. He also reminded me that it was nothing that I had done or not done that made this happen. It's hard though not to blame yourself. He told me he'd see me in there and went on to get himself ready.

I looked at Nick in the hallway and was scared to death. He seemed pretty positive and upbeat. His boy was coming today, but for me it was more difficult. First of all, it's just a scary situation, but add all the medicine to it and it becomes very hard to deal with. I felt all these emotions and couldn't really figure out how to show any of them. I was excited to meet Hagen, but 34 weeks kept creeping into my head. I know Nick thought I wasn't happy, but I was. Just a lot to take in.

I went in first to get my spinal block and Nick was able to come in a few minutes later. Dr. Hales and Dr. Burkholder were there in minutes and before I knew it I heard a cry that I was so fearful I would not hear. I saw a pink little boy move across the room to be cleaned off and taken care of. Here are those first few minutes of Hagen Ford Homyk's life. Enjoy!

This Is It...cont.

2010-02-23T10:51:00.000-08:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

And it went downhill from there...

2010-02-22T12:05:00.000-08:00

I started off feeling pretty good today. I'm glad I had my lap top at the hospital and I'm especially glad today is library day. Since I left school early and unexpected on Friday, I didn't have any lessons ready for today. I talked to Mika early this morning and she is going to get everything ready for my sub. While checking my email, I see that Melanie Johnson, my long term sub, is going to go ahead and take these 3 unexpected weeks. What a relief!

I've decided to type up some lessons for the week and call Melanie during conference time to discuss the next couple of weeks. As I talk to Melanie and type, with the laptop on my lap, I begin to feel hot. Mind you, I haven't been on magnesium sulfate for about 24 hours so this isn't related to the medicine. I try to just brush it off as nothing. It's just the lap top making me hot, perhaps. I am going to suffer through whatever I have to if it keeps Hagen in longer. This time, the nurses did not let me just dismiss my symptoms. My phone call gets cut short and the blood pressure monitors begin to give that sound again. The bad one. The one that says things aren't getting any better. We head to a room nearby to have a sonogram to check on Hagen. He's fine. Of course. I'm falling apart and he's just hanging out. Not that I would want it any other way!!! I promise to take it easy the rest of the afternoon and the nurses left me alone for the most part.

I had already started my second 24 hour urine screen and tried to relax. Sleep did not come. Relaxation did not come. Just boredom. Late in the afternoon the nurses come in to check on me. They ask the same questions they always ask after I get back a bad blood pressure. Do you have a headache? Are you seeing any spots? I told them what I always told them. No. I'm fine. As the nurses left the room and I began to really think about my condition I realized I did in fact have a headache and was seeing silver spots. I looked sadly at my mom and notified her of my feelings and she immediately went to the nurses station.

A few minutes later a team of nurses came into the room. The magnesium sulfate was back, but this time I would have to have an initial boost of the meds and then the drip. This was not going to be pretty. As one nurse hooked me up, two more brought in towels. Had one of them spilled my water? Had my water broken? Had my dirty hospital hair made someone vomit? Nope. The towels were brought in to pad my bed! My mom and I shared a brief look of fear. Mom had them clarify what they were doing. They were padding my bed in case I began to have a seizure. You have got to be kidding me! Seizure! That's when I guess it really hit me. This was serious. This wasn't just going to be 3 easy weeks of bed rest at the hospital. This was not just extra vacation from work. This was the real deal. And it continued to go downhill from there...

The night was horrible. HORRIBLE! My mom stayed with me so Nick could get some good sleep for work the next day. We were up most of the night. Not because nurses were bothering us, but because I was on fire. The magnesium sulfate had caused me to bake from within. Mom would place a cool wash rag on my head and neck and within seconds it was warm. She rubbed lotion on my legs and neck. She kept me in ice chips. Nothing helped. The night was going to be nothing, but miserable. I kept thinking...What does a seizure feel like? What if I die? What if Hagen doesn't make it? Nothing good came of this night. And it continued to go downhill from there...

What does outside feel like...I can't remember!

2010-02-21T10:26:00.000-08:00

Saturday, February 20 - Feeling pretty good. Magnesium sulfate is making me HOT!!! Mom's coming tomorrow!

Sunday, February 21 - Feeling really good. Magnesium sulfate is GONE! Nothing hooked up to me, but still peeing in a hat and monitoring blood pressure. Of course it's still HIGH! Hagen is still doing great though. Mom's in town and decided to take some pictures. I'm 34 weeks today!

154/106

2010-02-19T12:19:00.000-08:00

Yes...154/106 was my blood pressure today at school. Remember that 140/90 was my cut off. I have been going to see the school nurse, Melissa, twice a day to get my blood pressure checked. It has been high all week, but at lunch today, she gave me the look. The - I really hope I just read that wrong - look. Just in case the digital blood pressure machine was wrong, she took it manually. There it was again...the look. Melissa reported my blood pressure to me and told me I was going home. I went to my classroom to get some things in order so I could leave and rest for the afternoon. An afternoon off to put my feet up...can't really complain about that.

As I was walking to the car, I decided that if my blood pressure was high enough to be sent home from work, I should probably call the doctor's office. Realizing it was Friday afternoon and Dr. Burkholder's office closes at noon, I left a message for the on call nurse, asking if going home and resting was sufficient or if more needed to be done. While waiting on a call back, I called Nick to tell him I was being sent home from work. As soon as I heard his voice, I lost it. The tears came and the scared feeling I had managed to suppress to this point reared it's ugly head. He told me to go home and relax. I also managed to call my sister and parents before I got the call back from the on call nurse. My phone rang with a number I wasn't familiar with so I knew it was probably her. She informed me that going home and resting was not sufficient and that I needed to head to Labor and Delivery. ARE YOU KIDDING ME LADY!?!?! 33 weeks, 5 days doesn't sound like a time for Labor and Delivery to me, but of course that is exactly what had to be done.

Nick and I pulled up to the hospital about 3:30. We walked hand in hand up to Labor and Delivery, filled out the appropriate paperwork and headed to a room with about 4 curtained off beds. I put on my gown and got hooked up to monitors. They were monitoring my heart rate, oxygen levels and of course the baby. Hagen was doing great which was definitely a relief. The nurse, Jamie, took my blood pressure and it was not good. It looks like I might be here for a while. My sister took off work early and came to the hospital for support. We all sat and chatted, watched tv and waited. Waited for the next time they would check my blood pressure. Waited for the next time it would make that noise that told us it was high without even having to look. Waited for the doctor to come and tell us what had to be done. We were in this room for about 3 hours or so. The nurses put in an IV and started me on a saline drip. I had to start a 24 hour urine screen which would tell us if protein was pouring over into my urine. If it was, pre-eclampsia was in full swing. The filling up of an orange container would be no problem due to the saline drip. I wasn't able to see Dr. Burkholder because it was a Friday evening and he, of course, was out of town. Nothing against Dr. Burkholder. I love the man, but really, out of town when I needed him the most...seriously! We were told that Dr. Killeen would be the doctor who would review my case and give the all clear to go home or the instructions to stay. When Dr. Killeen arrived, he looked me over and said that I would probably be in the hospital through the weekend. That's just how it had to be. We would need to see what the urine screen said before the real decisions could be made.

After, 3 hours in labor and delivery, an iv and multiple trips to the bathroom, we were moved to antepartum. I didn't even know there was such a place. There were only about 6 women in antepartum. Almost all of us dealing with the same condition. Once in antepartum, I was hooked up to a magnesium sulfate drip. Magnesium sulfate can make you feel pretty crummy, but was the best thing to bring down pregnancy induced high blood pressure. I was on a tiny dose. Way less than the women who are in full blown pre-eclampsia. The only real side effect I felt was the heat. MY GOD, THE HEAT! I felt so hot and it came from within. It wasn't anything a cool rag could really help or a very cold room, but that's all I had to get me through. Nick about froze to death that night. A night which, compared to some of the others, was pretty easy. They woke me up about every four hours to take my blood pressure and of course every time I heard that disheartening sound that meant it was high.

The most important thing about that night...Hagen was just being Hagen. Moving around and keeping up a great heart rate. I can deal with this hospital, iv, peeing in a hat and magnesium sulfate stooper as long as my boy is alright. Praise the Lord he is great!

Life Goes On

2010-02-18T14:53:00.000-08:00

swollen feet and ankles + after school TAKS meeting = No Bueno!!!

Life Lesson

2010-02-17T14:35:00.000-08:00

I decided that with this whole high blood pressure, swelling and possible bed rest at some point thing, I better tell my students what is going on with me. We are a big part of each others lives. Didn't they deserve to know? Who knew that this conversation that should have taken about a minute would turn in to a 25 minute conversation about a variety of things?!? Well, I say that, but I knew all along that this is what it would turn in to, but sometimes you just have to take those moments and not let them pass you by.

I started off with a visual. I showed my kids my feet. I had worn flip flops that day due to the fact that my feet were huge. We all made faces and noises as to the grossness of my feet. I went on to explain to them why my feet were doing that and what it all meant. I stressed to them that the most important thing was that my baby stay in as long as possible. I could deal with high blood pressure and swollen feet. Hagen just needed to be ok. I reminded them of my plan to stay with them until Spring Break and then I would be out of there. I had enough days and I would already be at 37 weeks. Why push myself?!? After reminding them of the original plan, I had to let them know that it might not happen. I might not make it that long. My doctor very well might put me on bed rest, but I would be able to let them know ahead of time. I ended my part of the conversation with this..."If I'm ever just all the sudden, not here, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. The doctor probably just told me I can't work anymore." Here are the ramblings of children's minds that ensued.

"I was born a month early and almost died!"
"Are you scared? You know some people die during child birth?"
"My aunt had that and her baby died!"
Not really the brightest thoughts and warmest of wishes coming from them. Oh well, they're 12. What do they know? :)

And from the boy who is always wearing on my nerves and whose name gets said about 20 times in a 50 minute class period, a hand goes up and he says..."I'll pray for you and your baby." Who said middle school kids don't think about other people? Sometimes they actually know just what to say.

And it begins...

2010-02-16T16:24:00.000-08:00

I had my 34 week doctor's appointment today. It was supposed to be Dr. Burkholder's mini-childbirth class, where he gave us his version of what would go on and how things would happen on our big day. Little did I know, we'd have a lot more to discuss.

This past weekend I noticed some swelling of my ankles and feet. I kinda just went on about my business, but was a little concerned. I did my weekend things as normal, like going to the grocery store, a quick trip to walmart and on a walk with my sister. I found that my legs and feet were hurting pretty bad during our walk and we made the decision to cut it short and head home. I looked in my What to Expect book and found that minimal swelling was fine and not to worry, but facial swelling was a sign of preeclampsia. I immediately looked in the mirror and noticed that my eyes were quite puffy. Not to worry. I'd mention it to Dr. Burkholder on Tuesday and it probably wouldn't be a big deal. I had had an easy pregnancy to this point and figured the next 6 weeks would go just the same.

After work yesterday, I noticed quite a bit of swelling and today when the nurse took my blood pressure...dun dun dun...it was high. I can't quite remember what it was. (I've had my blood pressure taken so many times since this day, I've got all kinds of numbers running through my head.) I believe it was pushing 140/90 which is the cut off. When you get there, it's time to be a little concerned. My blood pressure has been fine my entire life, low even, and had continued that trend throughout the pregnancy. Today was a turning point. I have gained 6 pounds in two weeks due to swelling and I now have pregnancy induced hyper tension. Dr. Burkholder was not happy about this. For anybody who knows Dr. Burkholder, you may only see him for a few minutes every month, but you totally feel like the man loves you and would do anything for you and your baby. I knew if Dr. Burkholder was a little concerned that he would lead me in the right direction to get this high blood pressure under control. He told me to monitor my bp, 3-4 times a day, for the next week and to call and give him an update.

I left his office today, thinking that I could easily monitor my blood pressure at home, since Nick is an EMT and has his own cuff and I am around a school nurse all day at work. This wasn't going to be a problem and I felt confident that my high blood pressure at the doctor's office was a fluke thing. I would be able to call him next Tuesday, after my baby shower, and let him know that all was well.

I never thought that today, Tuesday, February 16, was the beginning of one wild ride.

How about an update...

2010-01-21T16:27:00.000-08:00

7 months...7 updates

1. I think Hagen's pretty adorable already! See below.

2. It's getting hard to shave my legs and put on my shoes. See below.

28 Weeks

3. Fire Academy is over!!!
4. Nick is working days as an EMT instead of nights! That working nights business is not for us.
5. I've decided that I am going to work until Spring Break and then be done for the rest of the year. That is if Hagen doesn't show up before then. How lucky am I? I won't have to put Hagen in daycare until August!
6. I told Nick that I was having trouble clipping my toenails. He said he'd takeover that job and even give me a pedicure next time I needed my toes done. How thoughtful!
7. I actually said this the other day. "Nick, I only tinkled a little in my pants twice today!

Pregnancy Brain

2009-12-21T13:26:00.000-08:00

I thought it appropriate to title this blog "Pregnancy Brain" due to the fact that I am going to now try to recall events from the last several months and I'm not thinking it's going to be the easiest thing I've ever done. It seems that pregnancy causes a woman to lose her short and long term memory and a little bit of her common sense. Most of you know what I'm talking about. Let's start this update with baby news.

The last picture I posted of me was at 12 weeks. Man have we come a long way since then. 16 weeks

20 weeks

At about 20 weeks, we found out that we have a little BOY on our hands. Seems like this is definitely blog worthy, but did I take the time to get on here...NO. So here he is.

Hagen Ford Homyk's Profile

Hagen's little feets

BOY

24 weeks

I am currently a little over 25 weeks and will go back to the doc at 28 weeks to have diabetes blood testing and a 3D sonogram done. Those sonograms are always pretty cool because you can see what the baby looks like. Hopefully, Hagen will cooperate, as he does not like being pushed on. He moves and squirms every time we have a sonogram or listen to the heartbeat. He likes his space, which I'm sure he is quickly running out of.

On to other topics...Nick is only a few weeks from graduating from the fire academy! This is a day that cannot come fast enough. Being away from each other Mon-Thurs and Saturday has not been fun. Don't get me wrong...this is definitely not the hardest thing we've gone through as a couple, but I like him. Of course I love him, but I like him too. He's my best friend and it's hard to get home after 4 just to quickly say goodbye to the one person you wanted to get home to see. It's almost over though. January 16th will be graduation day. I didn't get to see Nick graduate from high school or college so it will be a lot of fun to see him graduate from the academy.

As far as Micha goes, I'm pretty much consumed by growing this baby. It's funny how Hagen just seems to be a part of the family already. He's not even here yet and it seems so normal to talk about him and call him by name. I've gotten registered at Babies R Us and have already received the crib bedding from my parents and have strong feeling that the diaper bag will be given to me before too long, seeing that it shows as being purchased. Work has been pretty good, but I was definitely ready for Christmas break and am hoping to get a lot accomplished with the time off.

Until next time...

The Stick Said Yes

2009-09-30T18:19:00.000-07:00

August 3, 2009. Doesn't really sound too special, but for me it was the day our life changed. After a quick trip to Brownwood and Schlitterbahn, I made it home to Lubbock and went straight to the bathroom. I couldn't wait any longer. The stick said yes. Positive. Nick and I are going to have a baby. Most of you who read my blog already know this, but I figured I should probably document this amazing discovery.

August 4th I had bloodwork to confirm. August 7th and 8th we told our parents. Sept. 14th we heard the heartbeat and saw our little one for the first time. My belly is beginning to round out some and the nausea and fatigue are pretty much gone. We are super excited and a little freaked out at how fast April 4, 2010 will probably get here.

Here are some pictures of the first few months of our journey.

Shame on me!

2009-09-09T15:59:00.000-07:00

Since my last post a lot of time has passed, but it doesn't seem like too much has gone one. I worked all summer at Savannah Oaks, made some good money and some good friends. Nick is now a registered EMT, is a little over a month into the fire academy and recently turned 30. We celebrated our 2 year anniversary, on August 18th, with a little fire academy and a new student orientation thrown into the mix. Needless to say, we didn't spend a whole lot of time together on our big day, but it's about a life, not just a day. I promise to be better about my posts. Here are a few pics from this summer.

My name's Nick; I'm here to help!

2009-06-26T20:11:00.000-07:00

Tonight, my hubby begins his clinical rotations for his EMT certification. He left a few minutes ago all decked out in his EMT "uniform". I have to admit...I LOVE IT! He looks so good. He was completely pumped and looking forward to the adventures that tonight might bring. I found myself being extremely clingy to him before he left. I could see that I was acting this way and seemed to lack the ability to make myself stop. I couldn't help but be enamored. After reflecting on my behavior, I now realize where it stems. I'M SO PROUD! I just couldn't be more proud of him and am excited for all that the future will bring. Everything with his EMT and Fire Academy (oh yeah...he was accepted to both academies he tried out for) has just rolled so smoothly. He has excelled and continues to amaze me with his dedication. I think tonight, I just couldn't get enough of him and hope that he can truly grasp how honored I am to being going through this experience with him.

Had to get one of the two of us.

In classic Nick form..."Assessing" Sadie for the camera!

More adventures to come!

The Things We Do For Love...

2009-05-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

So, today is officially my only day of summer. Starting Monday, I will be teaching summer school from 8-1 and then driving straight to my summer job leasing apartments. I'm looking forward to the extra money and the stress that it will take off Nick's shoulders (my hubby is a worrier), but I'm a little sad I don't get my summer off. EMT school and the Fire Academy are not free, so I will take this summer to aid my Love in pursuing his dreams. I am so proud of him. He has been working so hard and non-stop. I can't wait to see all of his hard work completely open up the doorway to all he ever wanted. For that, I think I can suck it up one more summer and work. Here are a few pictures of some fun times from last summer. Hopefully, we'll be able to pencil in a few of these outings this summer too!

Here I am!

2009-05-12T18:32:00.000-07:00

So I've debated over and over about getting a blog. What would I blog about? Who would be interested? Why would anybody want to read about me? Screw that! Here I am! I've decided that it's only appropriate that my first blog be about MY BIG THREE...the three biggest events in my life to this point.

#1
Picture it. Lubbock, TX. Summer 2000. (my salute to Sophia on the Golden Girls) I'm a naive 19 year old little girl working a fantastic college job of leasing apartments. A green motorcycle pulls up and the most beautiful man I'd ever seen hikes his leg over and procedes to come into my leasing office. MY leasing office. I couldn't believe it. The whole time I showed him the apartment, my stomach was in knots. I totally thought he was making fun of me as we walked through the apartments and I was thoroughly embarrassed. A few minutes later, we were picking out apartments based on "whichever one is closest to yours". Yes...that would be mine. Seven days...yes I kept count... that would be seven days later, as I sit with my roommate watching Passions in my PJs, I hear a knock at the door. Sweet. I'm in my pajamas watching the lamest soap opera of all time. This is starting off well. I answered the door and I was gone. I was in love for the very first time in my life. Not puppy love. Not a strong liking or lust. The deep down, bone rattling, core shaking, change your life kind of love. Our year together was full of turmoil and love and breakups and love and tears and love. Do you get it?!? It was rough, but man you just can't stop that love. And then he left. He LEFT me! ME! Ouch! I grew up in that instant.

#2
Picture it. Brownwood, TX. July 2004. My best friend, confidant and soul sister is dieing. Grandma was slowly getting sicker and sicker. I spent every waking minute I could at the hospital. We talked. We watched Wheel of Fortune. We laid in her hospital bed together. It was the only way you would want to spend the end. I was in Ft. Worth on a quick trip when we got the call. She had slipped into a coma and it wasn't looking good. My sister and I headed to Brownwood as quickly as we could. I think she waited...I think she held on...for me! I looked in her face and told her how much I loved her. I looked in her eyes and told her I would take her with me wherever I went. I told her she could go. Sad...I know. It was hard. That night she died. I carried her ashes at the funeral because I couldn't imagine anyone else taking her down the isle of the church she had gone to for so many years, for the last time. I said goodbye to her by singing the song from our favorite show. Thank you for being a friend! Traveled down the road and back again. You heart is true. Your a pal and a confidant. And if you threw a party. Invited everyone you knew. You would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say...Thank you for being a friend!

#3
Here is where it all comes together! I know you are ready for a little bit of happy! Picture it...sorry, I had to keep up the theme. Lubbock, TX. May 2006. I get an email from someone I never thought I would hear from again. It simply stated, "I think of you". That's it. Simple as that. How do you respond to someone who broke your heart into a million little pieces. How do you say all that you have built up for 5 years. Well, if you don't love him anymore you say "Go to hell" or maybe nothing at all. But if you still love him, through all the hurt, you say "I think of you too." Then you get back together after five long years. You work out as many of your hang ups and issues as you can. You get married on the birthday of your dead, but still very much living with in you, grandmother. You live happily ever after. It's not always perfect, but I couldn't imagine doing it any other way.

So there it is. My first blog. Not all will be this long...or sad...or coherent, I'm sure. I can't wait to write about babies and houses, but for now...it's just me!